Words spoken in anger leave scars...

On thursday Rob showed me a message he received on Facebook from someone i was really close to and i trusted, It was a message saying they had spoken with a ex friend of mine, They were accusing me of saying mean and nasty things about them , they accused me of being a liar and told Rob they dont want anything to do with me anymore. When Rob showed me the message, i was furious & incredibly hurt, I couldnt believe that this person was saying these things, i thought she knew me better than that, I thought she was one of my best friends.

I left the appointment i was at & then took Rob to his work, I told him i was ok (which yep that was a lie, I wasnt ok) I got into mums car and went to go see mum at the hospital, I cried the whole way to there, then sat in the car for 30 minutes hoping that my tears would dry and mum wouldnt be able to tell i had been crying, she was under enough stress and i didnt want to worry her more. 

When i finally walked in to mums hospital room she of course could tell something was up with me and asked me what it was, i told her about the message because she knew i had a couple of Dr's appointments that day i didnt want her to stress and think it was something to do with my cancer.
I stayed at the hospital with mum for 8 hours till she was finally tired, then i started to drive home, The moment i walked out of the hospital and got in the car i started to cry again, Of all my friends this was the last one i wouldve ever thought would believe lies about me and the last one i thought would ever hurt me.

I was driving home and it wasnt until i was around the corner from her house that i realised i had driven to her house.
I went there to find out what i was being accused of saying, We talked and the things she was told i had said about her were horrible & all lies, i didnt say them. 

You know how you have that 1 friend that you can trust, you can tell them anything, you can be yourself with them and know they wont judge you. Thats what this friend was to me, I thought she knew me better than that.
I find it hard to trust people, i dont let many people in and rarely take down my wall and defences but for this friend i did and i got hurt.

Normally if someone hurts me, then thats it i will walk away from them, but this was a girl who was one of my best friends and her friendship meant alot to me, thats why i went to her house to find out what i was accused of saying.

We talked for hours & we are still friends now but i dont think we will be close again like we once were, because of how hurt i was by it all. 

Even though our friendship was hurt at least i still have my friend. 

But i think i will be putting my wall back up, Ive been hurt by to many friends lately.

When i was a little girl my Grandpa told me to always remember that "Words spoken in anger leave scars", He was a very wise man and was right because this has left a scar.

Love Always
Mandy

xoxo