As usual im worried about the test results, every bit of pain i get my mind instantly panics and thinks maybe the cancer is back.
Last year when my cancer got upgraded to life threatening, the specialist from the royal women's hospital told me if i didnt have the surgery i wouldn't make it to christmas this year, i live with that thought every day and as strange as it sounds, now that its nearly christmas time i think its finally sinking in just how close i came to dying.
This year i came to close to dying, during my surgery my body started to shut down and then started fighting again, I will never forget when the specialist told me that only a couple days after my surgery, it sent a chill down my spine but it just goes to show that i am a fighter.
The past few years has been the most difficult time of my life, Ive learnt so much though.
I know that i am a fighter, im stronger than i ever knew i could be.
This year i did my very first Relay For Life Survivor lap, It was a very emotional moment for me, first seeing the word SURVIVOR on my sash, then when i was standing at the start line with the rest of the Survivors and their Carers, Rob was my carer of course, When i looked around at the sea of purple from everyones relay for life shirts, i felt a sense of pride and strength.
It was a beautiful opening ceremony, then the survivors and their carers do the first lap, it is only 450meters but with every step i took in my surroundings and remembered back over my journey through cancer, 6 months ago after my surgery i was struggling to get out of bed and thought i would never smile again and yet here i was 6 months later walking my survivor lap arm in arm with Rob.
I had tears in my eyes, not because i was sad but because i was over joyed at being there and finally being a survivor.
I know that i am a fighter, im stronger than i ever knew i could be.
This year i did my very first Relay For Life Survivor lap, It was a very emotional moment for me, first seeing the word SURVIVOR on my sash, then when i was standing at the start line with the rest of the Survivors and their Carers, Rob was my carer of course, When i looked around at the sea of purple from everyones relay for life shirts, i felt a sense of pride and strength.
It was a beautiful opening ceremony, then the survivors and their carers do the first lap, it is only 450meters but with every step i took in my surroundings and remembered back over my journey through cancer, 6 months ago after my surgery i was struggling to get out of bed and thought i would never smile again and yet here i was 6 months later walking my survivor lap arm in arm with Rob.
I had tears in my eyes, not because i was sad but because i was over joyed at being there and finally being a survivor.
When we were about half way around i heard a woman yell out to me, to be honest i think i was off in my own little world, lol i didnt recognise the woman at first but her voice did sound familiar, it wasnt till after the lap when Rob and i were stalking Dougal the cancer council bear, i heard the same woman say my name again, When i looked up i realised it was our Friends Rae & her hubby Chris.
It made my day knowing that we had friends there, they are lovely people and i cant thank them enough for the support they have given us during my journey.
Rae and i met this year when i put a post on facebook asking if people had any wool they wanted to get rid off, she was kind enough to offer her house as a drop off point.
It made my day knowing that we had friends there, they are lovely people and i cant thank them enough for the support they have given us during my journey.
Rae and i met this year when i put a post on facebook asking if people had any wool they wanted to get rid off, she was kind enough to offer her house as a drop off point.
Doing the survivor lap was a great experience and one that i am very proud to be able to have done, now each time i look at my scar im learning to not hate it and think of it as scar that reminds me i cant be a mum but to be proud of it for it reminds me i survived.
Love Always
Mandy
Mandy
xoxo
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