I started my "just incase letters" today...

You know when your having one of those sort of days when you just want to curl up, cry & sleep for days... Well thats how im feeling today.
Today i started writing my "just incase letters" as ive now started to call them.
I always forget how much it hurts & just how hard they are to write until i start writing them, I write them just incase something goes wrong with my surgery and i dont make it,  then at least the people im closest to know how much they mean to me.
I always save writing a letter to Rob for last because of course its the hardest to write.
I finally went to see my solicitor yesterday and made a will, It didnt take long.
Theres so much going through my mind coming up to my surgery and im going through so many different emotions, Im terrified about the surgery and of course all the pain afterwards but at the same time im excited at the fact that i will soon be Cancer free but lately im feeling very down and my nightmares have started again so im only getting a couple of hours sleep a night.
I got my letter from the hospital today confirming the date of my surgery and time, Tuesday 16th of April at 6:30am i will be admitted to the Mercy Woman's Hospital for my surgery.
When i rang the hospital to let them know i received the letter, the woman i spoke to was nice, She informed me that if someone is sick they are not to come near me and if someone has been near someone whos sick they arent allowed near me for 48hours and that they would prefer me to stay away from people as much as possible. I already had been told this so i knew but it was nice of her to remind me.
So i have decided that if they dont want me near people then ok i will stay home as much as possible and i will put the little bit of energy i have into exercise and lose as much weight as possible before my surgery because it will help me heal faster.
One of Robs friends gave me a Ab circle pro today, i had a go at it when i was watching a movie with my beautiful husky, It is fairly easy to use and heaps of fun, Tomorrow i am going to pick up a old exercise bike from a lady who is so kindly giving it to me.
I tried to rearrange my gym today to fit the new equipment in but i wasnt strong enough and ended up in pain.
Anyway im off now
Love Always
Mandy
xoxo